This article contains episode summaries of the Nickelodeon television series Salute Your Shorts.
Season 1: 1991
This season is centered around the character of Michael.
The First Day
We open with Dina directing Z.Z. in the hanging of the camp banner across the entrance. Upon arrival Michael is directed to the lodge by Sponge, who advises that he made a major mistake coming to Camp Anawana. Bobby Budnick introduces himself as the official camp greeter then shoves him over the bent over Donkeylips. Then, Donkeylips pins down Michael and Bobby steals Michael's boxer shorts from his bag while Donkeylips gives him a wedgie in his tighty whities and runs them up the flagpole. Sponge gives Michael the advice, "Salute your shorts." We learn that Sponge was given his nickname because he soaks up information like a sponge, and that Ug was given his nickname because his last name is Lee. It is unclear how Donkeylips was given his nickname. Budnick and Donkeylips harass the new kid, Michael, who gets in a fight with Budnick at a baseball game that earns him respect and popularity that convince Budnick and Donkeylips to force Michael and Sponge into a secret society. Their first assignment is to steal something from the girls' cabin, getting Z.Z.'s diary, Dina's makeup, and Telly's glasses. The girls get informed of the planned raid from a rumor chain, and set up the cabin with an elaborate set of booby traps. Michael and Sponge break into the girls cabin and they make off with all of the items, (though Michael attempts to first steal Telly's baseball glove, and sets off an old Polaroid camera, which gets Ug's attention as he's outside at that moment on night watch). Michael and Sponge are almost done with the raid, when Ug opens the cabin door and sets off the traps which activate when a string that drops a dollar bill attached to a fishing line. Ug pulls off and pockets the dollar bill activating the traps which go off to the "Galop" (a.k.a. The Can-can from Jacques Offenbach's "Orpheus Orpheus in the Underworld"), which include eggs being launched by mouse traps, chili, shaving cream, sour milk, sour cream, feathers, trip wire with cans attached on it that are strung from cot to cot and set off more various traps, climaxing with a 250 lbs. duffel bag that acts like a battering ram and sending him flying out the girl's cabin door. In the ensuing chaos, Michael and Sponge make it out of the girl's cabin with Michael exclaiming "C'mon, let's go!!!". Michael drops Telly's glasses on the way back to the cabin and accidentally steps on them during the search for them, when they all go looking for them after Budnick and the other boys look through the items they recovered from the night raid at the girl's cabin. Budnick tries to pin the theft on a random kid, but Michael admits that it was him. The show closes with the girls T.P.ing the guys' bunk, Telly getting contacts in place of her glasses and forgiving Michael and taking him out to play basketball one on one, as the girls T.P. the boy's cabin as payback for stealing from their bunk.
The Ghost Story
When the campers are gathered around telling ghost stories, Budnick tells the story of Zeke the Plumber. Zeke had his nose bitten off by a parrot in the Philippines and, as such, couldn't smell a gas leak created when he hit a gas pipe while digging a hole. He makes a big mistake and lights a match, causing an explosion. The only remain was his toilet plunger that now bears a curse. Zeke's ghost, it is said, wanders the camp trying to find his plunger and anyone who touches it will be haunted in their dreams. Telly and Michael, having touched the plunger, are told that Zeke wanders around camp in a mask. Michael and Telly both end up having nightmares where Zeke threatens to kill them. This convinces them to get back at Budnick by daring him to stay out in the woods at the historical location of the site of Zeke's death, as documented in camp records. Budnick sets up a host of traps around his station while Donkeylips wanders around blindly with a pumpkin mask over his head and the other campers (and Ug, dressed as Zeke) attempt to sneak up on Budnick, running into his traps. On the way back from catching Ug, Budnick runs into a spider web and starts screaming for help, to the amusement of the campers listening nearby.
The Treasure of Sarah Madre
The campers gather in the lodge to remember Sarah Madre, the old dance counselor who tragically cha-chaed off a cliff years ago. Budnick breaks the picture with a soccer ball, revealing a secret treasure map Sarah had hidden in the frame before she died. Budnick claims the directions, refusing to let anyone else see them. The other kids decide to buy the directions from him, but greed soon splits the boys and girls. Budnick secretly sells each of them a copy of the directions, in exchange for their boomboxes. Meanwhile, Ug is busy landscaping the baseball field to prepare it for pictures for the new brochure. He tells everyone to stay off the field. The boys and girls both follow the directions, and find each other in the woods. After digging all day, they realize that Budnick tricked them there was never any treasure. They give him everything they found: a pile of garbage. An old hat that matches the one Sarah is wearing in the picture convinces Budnick that there really is a treasure even though he made up the directions. He returns the boomboxes in order to get the directions back. Budnick and Donkeylips agree to split the treasure, but neither can trust the other one. They decide to search for the treasure at night, rather than wait until dawn. They follow the directions but can't find any of the holes where the other kids were digging. After digging all night, the other kids reveal that it was all a trick, the hat was a fake to get Budnick back. At the last minute, Donkeylips's shovel hits metal, and thinks it is the treasure after all. It turns out it is a water main, which starts spraying water everywhere. The other kids run away, leaving Budnick to face the wrath of Ug, who has just found out that there is a large hole in the middle of the infield.
Brownies for Thud Mackie
Ug is upset because no one is coming to his activities except Z.Z. Z.Z. cheers him up and they go on a nature walk to identify plants so that Ug can join the "100 Shrub Club". It turns out Ug is not a very good naturalist, and ends up rubbing poison sumac all over himself. Ug takes an oatmeal bath, despondent that he will never get in the 100 Shrub Club. Meanwhile Michael gets in trouble when he encounters the camp bully, Thud Mackie. He accidentally sits on Thud's brownies, and Thud gives him a week to get him a new dozen brownies. Michael gets his grandparents to send him some brownies, but Ug confiscates them. With only a few days to go before Thud pounds him, he sends a video tour of camp to his grandparents, making the camp look much worse than it really is. Just as Michael thinks he is going to get pounded, Ug tells him he gets to leave. He finds out he's not going home after all, but staying with his grandparents instead. He doesn't want to live with them and doesn't want to leave his friends, so decides to stay at camp instead. Everyone promises to help Michael against Thud, but when Michael confronts him, everyone else has disappeared. Thud knocks Michael out, and the episode ends with Michael coming to with everyone standing around him.
Telly and Dina
Dina and Telly both want to be Bunk Chief for the summer. Since they are both going to vote for themselves, Z.Z. has the deciding vote. They both try to convince her to vote for them. Dina lets Z.Z. wear any of her clothes, while Telly helps Z.Z. score her first soccer goal. Z.Z. promises her vote to both of them. Meanwhile, the boys are in trouble for putting the goat in Ug's bunk. Ug forces them to help set up for the Indian Council Dinner. Thinking that Ug wants to catch them messing up again, the boys are careful to do everything perfectly. Z.Z. doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, so she casts a blank ballot. This results in both Dina and Telly being angry with her. However, Ug sides with Z.Z. and reminds them according to Anawanna's Bunk Chief Election Rules, they have to decide among themselves who will be Chief. After talking they decide to vote for each other, leaving them in the same position they were before. Ug leaves again, while the boys go out to get a soda after putting together all the pies for dessert. Dina and Telly start fighting again when neither will take the win from the other. Dina puts a pie in Telly's face, sparking a food fight that results in Ug being hit as he returns. The girls run out just as the boys come back in. Ug blames the boys for the mess and orders them to clean up the mess with their toothbrushes, and Dina and Telly decide to elect Z.Z. as Bunk Chief.
Telly & The Basketball Team
The kids' basketball team, the Tigers, are playing the Hurricanes in the championship game. The winners get their name woodburned onto the winner's plaque, but the losers get their photo put in a toilet seat hanging in the lodge. Telly tries to get everyone to practice, but no one wants to have to work to win. After losing to the Hurricanes, the team fires Telly and elects Budnick as their new captain when he promises them winning with no work. It seems to be too good to be true when they start losing badly during the next game. Budnick steps in at the last minute and does the impossible, somehow winning the game for them. Everyone is happy except Telly, who suspects something is not right. In the meantime, Budnick bets his candy stash against the Hurricanes'. Telly spies on Budnick while he is inside his bunk and finds out that he stole the Hurricanes' playbook. After the rest of the team finds out, they apologize to Telly and promise to work hard from now on. They practice hard and take on the Hurricanes fair and square. The game goes pretty evenly, and with ten seconds left, the Tigers need two more points to win. Budnick begs Telly to let him in. She reluctantly agrees, warning him to be a team player. Budnick agrees, but when he gets the ball Budnick refuses to pass it to anyone, not wanting to risk his candy stash by letting someone else shoot. He takes the shot as time runs out, but it doesn't go in. The Tigers may have lost the game, but Budnick lost his entire candy stash due to his own selfishness.
The Radio Call-In Contest
Sponge and Michael call a local radio trivia contest run by DJ Giant Jim, where Sponge wins $100. He trades it in for a chance to win $1000 by answering two more questions. While the boys are all worshipping him, the girls show that he doesn't know anything about "stupid trivia". They offer to help him with the "girl trivia" questions for thirty percent of the money. Sponge refuses. Meanwhile, Ug buys some cologne from Budnick that turns his face blue. He grounds all the boys to the bunk until he can fix his face. By the time they get their radio working again, they find out the question was already asked: "What's George Michael's real name?" They are forced to give the girls a cut of the money to get the answer. In order to answer the third question, Sponge will have to stay up all night. Everyone tries to help him stay awake and prepare for the third question but he is just too tired. Giant Jim finally asks the third question: "What color is a giraffe's tongue?" Sponge doesn't know whether it is red or black. The day is saved when Ug enters the bunk. His college mascot was a giraffe, and he remembers the tongue was black. Sponge answers the question and wins the $1000. However, Ug gets the money, perhaps to pay to clean his face.
Cheeseburgers in Paradise
Donkeylips and Sponge want to join the wrestling tournament so they can win a lobster dinner. When Ug weighs them in, they find out that Sponge is five pounds under the "flyweight" limit and Donkeylips is five pounds over the "cruiser" limit. Telly offers to help them qualify for the tournament. Meanwhile, Budnick's latest scheme is to save the kids from eating gumbo surprise by ordering burgers from a stand outside the camp. Everyone goes in on the deal, but Ug catches them using the phone. Since he can't order the burgers in advance, Budnick sends Donkeylips and Sponge to buy the burgers. They go to pay for the burgers, but find out that half the money leaked out of Donkeylips' pocket, leaving a trail which Ug follows to the stand. Ug hits on the cashier, who strings him along in order to get the other half of the money. Sponge and Donkeylips manage to swipe the food bag without Ug seeing them, and they return to camp with the burgers. The next day, it is time to weigh in again. Sponge has gained enough weight, but Donkeylips is still one pound too heavy. He leaves despondent that he can't wrestle after all. Telly gives Sponge a five-pound weight to help him bulk up, but Ug tells them the scale says it weighs seven pounds. Sponge realizes this means Donkeylips actually made the weight limit, and goes to tell him they will be enjoying lobster together after all.
Budnick and Michael Fake Being Sick
Budnick doesn't want to go to Instructional Swim, so he and Michael convince Ug they're both sick by pretending to throw up all over his tennis shoes. However, Ug has a surprise for everyone, instead of Instructional Swim, they're all going to the beach. Budnick and Michael try to convince Ug they have recovered, but Ug leaves them at the nurse's office anyway. The rest of the kids are off to the beach, and Michael is angry at Budnick for making him miss the beach trip. After a fight, Budnick and Michael put their differences behind them to try to get the TV to work, but all they can get is a Spanish language Western. They then become aware of a huge stash of ice cream available in the nurses fridge. But, according to the nurse, the only kids who get to have ice cream are the ones who have sore throats. Michael and Budnick then work together and plot a way to get the ice cream. Meanwhile, Ug and the other kids are having trouble finding the beach. They get lost, have a few encounters with the police, and finally Ug catches a cold after jumping in the water with all his clothes on. Michael and Budnick's relationship takes a new turn in this episode and they become good friends after spending the day together in the nurse's office.
It is time for the Junior Big Show at Camp Anawanna, and Ug has decided to direct "Cinderella". Dina and Telly both want to play the lead role, but Dina gets Cinderella, leaving Telly to play an Ugly Stepsister. Donkeylips is a rapping mouse, while Michael plays Prince Charming. Telly is jealous of Dina's success, while Dina has let stardom go to her head. After it becomes obvious she hasn't memorized her lines, Ug warns her she had better do it "or else". She finally comes down to earth, and with Sponge's help she finally memorizes her lines. Just when everything seems to be going well, Dina loses her voice. It seems like the show is off, until Sponge proves that Dina really didn't lose her voice, she just has a case of stage fright. Sponge tells her to just imagine a giant chicken in the audience to help get over her fright. On the night of the play, Dina's stage fright bubbles to the surface again, and she freezes in front of the crowd, until she sees a giant chicken in the back of the theater. Sponge has dressed up in a chicken costume in order to help Dina. The play ends and everyone claps. The cute boy in the audience starts bringing up roses. Dina thinks they're for her, but he actually brings them to Z.Z. Dina may not have gotten roses, but she did get over her stage fright.
Dina Loves Donkeylips
Everyone has a date to the camp social except for Dina, who wants Michael to ask her. She leaves a note for him, but Donkeylips finds it first and thinks it is meant for him. He enlists the help of Budnick to find the right way to ask her to the dance. Meanwhile, Sponge and Michael are helping to set up for the dance so they can be DJs. After Dina finds out the flowers she received aren't from Michael, a search begins to find out who her secret admirer is. After following a trail of clues, a photo reveals the secret admirer is Donkeylips, to Dina's horror. Now she has to take him to the dance! Forced into going to the dance by her friends, Dina blows off Donkeylips the whole night until they are picked for the "spotlight dance". During the dance, Donkeylips reveals that he knew all along that she didn't ask him. He tells her that he only went with her because he knew no one was going to ask her. Realizing how unpopular she really is, Dina has a change of heart and ends up having a good time with Donkeylips after all.
Mail Carrier Mona
Ug receives a letter from his girlfriend Rachel, saying she's coming to visit him. He is so excited, the other campers don't have the heart to tell him that another letter came telling him the first letter was a mistake, she has another boyfriend and the letter was actually for him. Michael finally breaks the news to him after Ug spends the entire day waiting for Rachel's car by the road. He is despondent and doesn't care about camp anymore. The kids are worried about him, so they decide to fix him up with the new mail carrier, Mona. She is filling in for a couple of days while the regular guy is out with an injury. It is up to the guys to convince Ug to move on to someone new and the girls to convince Mona that Ug is the right guy for her. After a lot of convincing, Ug and Mona get together and camp is back to normal.
Camp Anawanna is overflowing with garbage, and it is up to Z.Z. to convince everyone to clean it up. Ug appoints her "Environmental General" but Z.Z.'s heavy-handed approach makes the rest of the kids resent her. Meanwhile, the boys are trying to make some money by selling honey from a beehive they discover in the woods, but the beehive turns out to be full of old magazines. Dina convinces Z.Z. to get everyone interested in saving the planet by throwing a party for the environment. A foodfight ends the party in disaster. The party created more waste than it stopped. Z.Z. is discouraged until she talks to the local recycling man, Mr. Spanikopita, who gives her the idea to get everyone to recycle by reminding them that they can make money. After Z.Z. promises the kids a trip to the waterslides if they can raise enough money by recycling, the campers finally go out and help clean up camp. The time finally comes to go to the waterslides, but Z.Z. and Budnick discover that the kids have decided to spend the money on the environment instead. They bought and planted a tree to teach future campers about the environment. Budnick wants to drill into the tree to sell the maple syrup, but the rest of the kids chase him away.
Season 2: 1992
Goodbye, Michael Hello, Pinsky
Michael has the chickenpox, and when Ug returns from the doctor Michael's not with him. After Michael gets over the chicken pox he's going hiking with his parents in Switzerland. Everyone is sad to see him go except Budnick, who acts like he's happy Michael's gone. It has only been four hours since Michael left, and already a new camper has arrived, Ronnie Pinsky. He introduces himself by throwing Budnick out at baseball. Everyone is excited to meet him, but Budnick doesn't like the new kid. Meanwhile, Ug has decided that everyone needs to be quarantined so they don't infect anyone else with the chickenpox. Pinsky doesn't like rules, so he breaks quarantine to go to the girls' cabin. Ug catches him, and punishes him by making him roll an apple through mud with his nose. That night, Pinsky can't sleep. He decides to go to the girls' cabin, but is caught by Ug. With quick thinking, Pinsky offers Ug the famous "Pinsky Salami", and it turns out Ug loves salami. The other boys can not sleep either, and they go out to see what happened to Pinsky. They hear music coming from the lodge, and finds Pinsky playing the piano and the girls dancing, while Ug eats the salami. Budnick does not understand what happened, but he knows he does not like Pinsky. The same effect occurs when he goes to hang his boxer shorts on the flag pole, but again fails to humiliate him like he did Michael.
Budnick thinks that Ug has the easiest job in the world. He just lays around all day and never has to do anything. It happens to be "Upsidedown Weekend", where everything that can be done backwards, will be done backwards. This includes making a camper a counselor for the weekend. Budnick sees his chance to make camp fun, and the campers all elect him after he promises he'll let everyone run amok. Ug crowns him "counselor for the weekend". If Budnick is the counselor, that makes Ug the camper. Ug turns out to be the biggest prankster camp has ever seen. Meanwhile, Dina finds a frog in her shoe. She wants to squish it, but Z.Z. saves it and decides to train it for the upcoming frog-jumping competition. Budnick gloats that being a counselor is so easy, a chimpanzee could do Ug's job. The two make a wager on who makes the better counselor, with the kids voting at the end of the weekend. Ug gives him the Anawanna counselor guidebook and reminds him he has to enforce the rules or Doctor Kahn will nail his butt to a tree. Budnick completely changes and becomes a rule enforcer, making sure everyone follows the rules to the letter. No one likes the new Budnick that is more interested in punishing everyone than letting them have fun. Sick of his treatment, the rest of the campers along with Ug conspire to pull the ultimate prank. That night, Budnick is brooding about how being a counselor is no fun. Z.Z. tries telling him not to turn to the rulebook all the time. The campers choose that night to pull the ultimate prank. Budnick gets covered in pancake mix, eggs, and milk. Meanwhile, Dina finds out that the winner of the frog-jumping competition gets a night on the town and wants the frog back. Ug tries to solve the problem, but can't help them. Budnick punishes them again, but complains they are not giving him a chance to be a good counselor. Dina and Z.Z. are still fighting, so Pinsky suggests that Budnick try to solve the frog dispute. He comes up with a solution that gives the frog to Z.Z., and everyone agrees to follow his rules. However, Budnick decides he has had enough of being a counselor. He and Ug agree to a draw on their bet, and Z.Z.'s frog wins the competition.
Telly and the Tennis Match
Telly loses a tennis match to Scotty Rex, the camp tennis champ. She decides she needs a new racket in order to beat him. After her mom won't send her a new one, Telly resorts to Budnick, who gives her his racket on the condition that she do him a favor at a later time. Meanwhile, Sponge is trying to collect ants for his ant farm and offers a nickel a piece for them. With her new racket, Telly challenges Scotty to a rematch, but Budnick stops it, convincing them to wait until tomorrow, when everyone can watch them. After announcing the match, Budnick takes bets at five to two odds. Donkeylips is so excited about the odds, he knocks over Sponge's ant farm. The ants get all over the lodge and Ug ends up eating them. The night before the match, Budnick calls in his favor, he wants Telly to throw the match. Everyone bet on Telly, so if she wins, he will lose a lot of money. She reluctantly agrees. The next day, Telly throws the first set. During the break, Dina and Z.Z. convince Telly she needs to win. Telly throws out Budnick's racket in favor of her own racket. She comes back and wins now that she doesn't have to honor her promise to Budnick. Budnick ends up having to pay out to the rest of the campers.
Dina and the Rock Star
Dina promises everyone that she will get Jamie Mallet Jr., a huge rock star, to perform at the camp dance. She finds out that Jamie is staying at a nearby camp to relax and get some rest from the celebrity lifestyle. Dina tricks him into thinking the camp he is at is too dangerous and to come and relax at Camp Anawanna. When he arrives, he is overrun by fans. Dina then gets angry when Jamie spends most of his time hanging out with Pinsky instead of her, because Pinsky isn't treating him like a celebrity. As revenge, she spreads lies about Jamie through the camp which sparks a food fight in which she gets accused of starting (inadvertently, she did), and she is punished by Ug.
The Cursed Skull
Theres a brutal heatwave at Camp Anawanna, and the girls' tempers are short. After an argument, they decide to move to different bunks. While they are fighting, the guys are better friends than ever. Budnick found an old cow skull at the Sacred Caves, and they decide to form a secret society, "The Order of the Skull." Z.Z. warns them it is the Cursed Skull, and bad things happen when it is around. Sure enough, unlucky things start to happen to everybody. Ug warns Budnick to get rid of it, but Budnick refuses. The girls decide to take the matter into their own hands, and return it to the cave themselves. They are stuck together one last night before they move. By the time the girls get to the cave, it is too late to go back. They have to spend the night in the cave. They discover the town has been using the cave as a dump, there's all kinds of great junk to pass the time. Meanwhile, the boys are being initiated into the Order of the Skull. The final ordeal is to clip a single nose hair from Ug. As the night goes on, the girls start to have fun being with each other again and learns the skull isn't cursed but made in Korea. Back in Camp Anawanna, the guys' good luck has finally run out. They find out they have gone through the grueling initiations for nothing, because the skull is missing and was replaced by a melon. However it's the least of their worries, as a furious Ug comes into their bunk with scissors in hand and Kleenex stuffed inside one of his nostrils. Furious about the cut in his nose the boys caused while getting the hair, he raises the scissors, implying he's going to punish them. When the girls return to camp, they find the boys being punished from last night with their own noses bandaged up and are fighting among themselves. But the girls have decided to stay together for the rest of the summer and has their own secret society, "The Clan Of The Cave Girls".
Budnick Loves Dina Part 1
Budnick and Pinsky are sitting in the lodge when Dina walks in. Pinsky notices that Budnick is in love with her. Budnick tries to get Dina to like him, but she is not very receptive. Meanwhile, Sponge and Donkeylips belong to the Super Indian Scouts, and are trying to earn various merit badges and Telly and Pinsky have hurt their knees in a three-legged race. While he's recovering, Pinsky suggests Budnick write a song to tell Dina how he feels. Telly and Dina find out that Budnick likes Dina. Z.Z. knows Budnick likes one of them, but she doesn't know who. Telly and Dina tell her it is her, and she becomes love-struck. She is so excited when Budnick comes to the lodge singing, she thinks it is for her. He walks by her though, and ends up humiliating her and Dina both. Dina throws food in Budnick's face. To top things off, everyone except Budnick and Dina end up hurting their knees in various ways. Budnick goes to the girls' bunk, but Dina runs off. Budnick apologizes to Z.Z., who sees that Budnick is really a nice guy. She tells him to tell Dina what he just told her, and she will probably go to the social with him. He can't find Dina though, so Budnick enlists the aid of Sponge and Donkeylips, who are excellent trackers due to their Super Indian Scout training. They find her out in the lake. Budnick apologizes to Dina, who decides maybe Budnick isn't so bad after all. Everyone sees Budnick get in the boat with Dina, including Z.Z. She is upset to see Dina forgive Budnick after all.
Budnick Loves Dina Part 2
Z.Z. and Telly can't believe Dina likes Budnick. She goes out on a walk with him, and everyone spies on them. Dina wants Budnick to pound them, but he tells her he has changed to become a classy guy for her. Their first date is a disaster. She's disappointed that he's not the bad boy he was before. After Dina starts a food fight and Budnick stops it, Dina realizes he's changed for the worse. She would rather have the old than the new Budnick as her boyfriend. She realizes she has to break up with him. The next morning, she tries to break up with him, but he tells her he can't live without her. It is on to plan B. Pinsky tells Dina she will have to get him to break up with her. She starts to do all kinds of mean things to change his mind about her. The worst part comes when she tells him he has to cut his hair. Meanwhile, Sponge and Donkeylips need one more merit badge to go on a camping trip. They have to start a survival fire without matches, but they can't seem to do it. Z.Z. starts the fire with Sponge's glasses, so everyone can go on the trip. The time comes for Dina to cut Budnick's hair, but in the end he can't go through with it. He breaks up with her, and finally everything is back to normal. The old Budnick is back. Yet, Dina still seems to have feelings for him.
Sponge's Night Out
After sleeping through the camp's "Club Choice Day," Pinsky ends up in Sponge's computer club. He then decides to use the camp's outside modem line to make long distance phone calls. Sponge gets blamed for all the calls. To try to make it up to him, Pinsky invites Sponge on a date with him and two girls from another camp. All the other kids decide to sneak out to the theater in order to watch Sponge's first date, but unbeknownst to them Ug is also going to the theater on a date with his girlfriend. The kids successfully hide from Ug, who gets kicked out of the theater for yelling at a girl whom he misidentified as Budnick. Meanwhile, Sponge and his date find out they have a lot in common, and spend the entire time making out in a phone booth.
Pinsky and Sponge start a camp newspaper. While Sponge is writing actual news stories, Pinsky starts a gossip column, which soon becomes very popular. When he writes that Telly may have cheated at a recent sports event, it starts to get everyone into trouble.
Capture the Flag
Donkeylips wants to play on the offensive side of the camp's Capture the Flag team, but even though he knows the strategy, he is put on defense because he is so slow. But when the offensive crew is captured by the enemy, it is up to Donkeylips to lead the defense team to save the day.
They Call Me Ms. Tibbs
Mona Tibbs, the mail lady, has joined the park service to be closer to Ug. He thinks this is good because she will go easy on the camp when she comes to inspect it. Instead, she nitpicks every little thing and reports the camp for several infractions. The campers decide to make it worse by pointing out more flaws, hoping to be put in a hotel while the camp is fixed if it is shut down. They find out, however, that they would be transferred to other camps. They quickly set out to clean up camp and help Mona and Ug patch things up.
The Wrath of Kahn, Jr.
Ellen, Dr. Kahn's niece, comes to visit camp, and Ug orders the campers to treat her like royalty. She is a real brat and the gang is ready to use vigilante justice on her, but Ug, though he is also bothered by Ellen, stops them because he is trying to get a raise. The gang decides to try the silent treatment, which sends Ellen over the edge. In the end, the gang gets the ultimate revenge, and Ug gets his raise for teaching Ellen a lesson.
The campers start a birdhouse company for career day. Dina is appointed leader and Donkeylips is put in charge of production. After seeing how the others are being lazy, Donkeylips and his workers go on strike. Meanwhile, Ug and Sponge search for items to put in the Camp Anawanna time capsule. In the end, Donkeylips gets another crew of kids together and ends up selling all the birdhouses while the rest of the gang is left looking on in amazement, and without any money.